Why I Only Go to Hospitals When Healthy

So I turned 21 two weeks ago…

I also sustained a leg wound about three weeks ago, which several people told me was probably infected…

Still don’t know where the wound originally came from.

Between the two, I’ve now run into a problem.

I don’t know if I’m sick, or if I’ve simply forgotten what sobriety feels like.

This is normally something I’d have no problem dealing with, except for some reasons my friends are conspiring to kill me.

They never seem to understand my response either.Apparently other people don’t understand doctors…

You see, I have nothing against the idea of doctors. Nice, happy old men (and women) that give you medicine and make everything happy.

Except that isn’t how it works.

Doctors are nothing more than legal vampires.

And not that sparkly bullshit, I mean real, feast on your blood and feed you to their wolves f*cking vampires.As such, going to a doctor with an open wound is essentially suicide.

When healthy, I’m fine with hospitals. I’m relatively fit, studied a few martial arts, and I’ve read Dracula enough times to understand the process of killing the bastards.

However, in my current condition I’m more like this…

As such, I’d be free game for the vampires and their vampire spawn succubi (nurses.)

And that’s why I’m not going to a doctor.

Besides, worst case scenario I lose a leg. Then I get to be a pirate!And no one would question me if I wore an eye patch!Or a cape!Pirates are awesome.

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