Super Glue

I cut my foot open last night.

I don’t have any band-aids, because I’m a man and therefore don’t believe in or need relief from pain.

So I Krazy© Glue’d it shut.

And then, after a reasonable period of waiting so that the glue would be dry, I went to bed.

Unbeknownst to me, a majority of the super glue I’d applied to my foot had run down my leg, as opposed to stop me from bleeding all over my bed.

The leg glue hadn’t dried when I went to bed.

As such, instead of waking up an hour early and getting some last minute studying in for my final, I woke up an hour early and desperately tried to remove my blanket from my leg before my final.

Imagine if I had glued myself to a bear.

I’d have spent that hour doing bear things.

Like eating berries

And chasing deer

And hibernating.

I should have glued myself to a bear!

Imagine the respect I would have earned when I went in for my Ecology final!

I bet I wouldn’t even have had to take the final.

Who’s going to approach a large grizzly bear that’s been haphazardly glued to some idiot trying to fix his punctured foot?

I could have left early and eaten more berries!

Krazy© Glue! The only glue I attempt to use for Bear-ventures!

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