Most of my arguments don’t start like this. Normally the irrational acts of violence wait until after we’ve derailed the train of logical thought. This one happened backwards.
And so it began.
In the interest of defending my stance, I went to the most accessible source there is, Wikipedia. According to Wikipedia, the Krumbien phi scale of sedimentology ranks chunks of earth in the order of Granule (2-4mm diameter), Pebble (4-64mm), Cobble (64-256mm). Now, I could argue I was hit in the eye with cobble.
I regret it.
First of all, I was arguing against someone smart enough to point out Wikipedia isn’t legitimate.
Second of all, the… thing… that hit me in the eye was rather amorphous.
Finally, the word “Cobble” very much invokes an image of a silly nancy boy strolling down the streets of London.
Actually, I had more arguments to make, but now that I’ve drawn that, he seems to feel a lot happier about being hit in the eye than I do. That’s just silly. No one should be happy about being pelted in the eye with a chunk of poorly defined mineral. Damn him and his outwardly joyful demeanor! I want nothing more to do with this nonsense. Largish Pebble it is.
Next time anyone hits me in the eye, I hope they do so with something more easily defined.
Like an alligator.
EDIT: So apparently the above isn’t an alligator, but the bastard child of a crocodile and some species currently nonexistent in the world of zoology. As such, I now request that I get hit in the face with an aardvark.