I came to an unfortunate realization today.
Squirrels and I have something in common.
When hungry, both squirrels and myself dig around at random hoping to uncover food.
To make matters worse, squirrels are actually smarter than me in the process.
You see, squirrels bury their food, so that they can uncover it later.
They just forget where they buried it afterwards
Fortunately, all squirrels do this, so they just have random pockets of food everywhere.
Myself? I just hope that I can find food somewhere in my room if I look hard enough.
Unfortunately, this never happens. Instead I just find stuff that makes sense given where I’m looking.
I know the obvious option is for me to go to a grocery store, but there are three problems with that.
1) My apartment isn’t the grocery store. I have to walk there.
2) Once at the grocery store, I need to spend money, which I don’t have.
3) The grocery store isn’t my apartment. I have to walk home.
Meanwhile, squirrels are able to find food without having to move from the place they defecate.
Honestly, given the option, I think I’d rather take squirrel’s food than get people food from the grocery store. Just to spite them.
Squirrels are jerks.